


Worth

by sherlockonthebarricade



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Grantaire doesn't think he's good enough for Enjolras, M/M, and Enjolras thinks Grantaire is the best thing to ever happen to the earth
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-01
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-24 06:04:36
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,498
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6143889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherlockonthebarricade/pseuds/sherlockonthebarricade
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grantaire doesn't think he's good enough for Enjolras. </p>
<p>Enjolras disagrees, because Grantaire is the most beautiful man on Earth.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Worth

Everywhere we went, we would receive judgemental looks. To start with, I just brushed it off as horrible people disliking us because we're both men. It didn't bother me. It didn't even cross my mind that it could be something more than just their prejudice against us. It didn't bother me until I noticed it bothered you. 

I hold your hand all the time because I'm proud to call myself your boyfriend. I'm proud to love you and proud to be loved by you. I think you are the greatest thing on this earth, but it's clear that not everyone thinks that way.

It started with that boy. I neither noticed nor cared if he was hot. I only have eyes for you. But still he talked and smiled and tried to pull me away from you.   
"Hey, gorgeous. What are you doing with someone like him? Wouldn't you prefer someone like me?" I felt your grip on my hand loosen as he spoke, as if you were losing what little confidence you had in yourself. I moved my arm to your waist, pulling you closer to me. I wouldn't prefer someone like him. I told him that I wanted you and only you and carried on walking. 

The next was a girl. She was much younger than us, maybe twelve. She introduced herself with a tug on my sleeve.   
"If you're gay, aren't you both supposed to be really cute? I mean, you're good looking, but him..." She made a disgusted face and waited for an answer. What she got was a cold glare. I led you away, assuring you that I think you're beautiful.

After that, the blow came from someone much closer to home. I would never have thought our friend would say what he said.   
"Enjolras, are you sure about him? I mean, it's not that there's anything wrong. It's just, well, you're you... And he's... Grantaire."   
"What are you saying?" I asked.   
"You're practically perfect in every way and he's... Your opposite." I'm glad you weren't there to hear that. I think you're perfect in every way. But you don't. You don't think much of yourself, and it would kill you to hear a friend talk about you like that.

Then, on the night you first met my father, you could barely hold yourself together. You'd spent the whole week previously convinced he was going to hate you, convinced he'd hate you because you aren't good enough for me. You already believed that you don't deserve me (and that's not true, of course) and you knew a lot of people agree with you. Meeting my father meant a lot to me, you knew that. You were terrified. You thought that he'd hate you and I'd break up with you because of him. I tried to convince you that it didn't matter what my father thought, because nobody's opinion would ever change my feelings for you. 

We'd had a relatively fine evening. You'd come round for dinner and everything went well. You were wearing smart clothes: a white shirt, black trousers and a green tie. You'd been pleasant to my father and wonderful to me, careful to show him that you cared for me enough that he'd appreciate our relationship but not so much that he'd get annoyed. 

It was when I went upstairs to fetch a coat that everything went wrong. You were just leaving my house and I was going to walk you home. It was cold out so I went to grab my jacket, leaving you alone with my father for what couldn't have been more than a minute. I didn't hear what he said, but you did.

"Grantaire, you're not good enough for my son. Don't look so shocked, you knew that. I could tell from the moment you arrived that you know you don't deserve my son. You're not worth his time. You're worthless. I'd like you to leave now. Enjolras will not be escorting you home. I advise you break off whatever you have with my son, and I will tell Enjolras to stop wasting his time on you."

You were gone by the time I got back. I asked my father where you were. He said you'd left. He said you didn't need me to walk you home. I ran out of the house anyway, I knew something was wrong. You never leave anywhere without saying goodbye to me.

I found you three houses down the road, leaning against a lamppost. Your eyes were red and puffy and your cheeks were wet with tears. I rushed towards you, wrapping my arms around your shaking body and holding you tight. You flinched away from my touch, telling me to leave you alone. Your speech was broken up by your sobbing. Despite your protests, I led you home, keeping one hand firmly around your waist. 

When we reached your house, I sat you down on the sofa and made you a cup of tea. You were still shaking. Your paint-stained hands were freezing when I held them. You didn't speak, just drank your tea and cried. When I asked you what had happened, you refused to tell me. So I just held you, gently running my fingers through your curly hair. 

Then it was late and we should both have been asleep. We weren't. Tears were still streaming down your cheeks and I was still holding you. You pulled away from me and moved as far as you could along the sofa. You gazed at me with a heartbroken look in your eyes. 

"You should stop wasting your time on me." You whispered, more tears forming in your eyes.  
"Grantaire, whatever my father said-"   
"You deserve so much more than me."  
"Grantaire, listen to me-"  
"I'm not good enough for you. I'm worthless. I'm worthless and useless and I don't deserve you. You should just leave now because I'm not worth your time. I'm not even-"  
"Stop!" I yelled. "Grantaire, stop it right now!"

You froze, pulling your legs towards you and burying your head in your knees. I think I scared you, and I regret yelling. I tried to calm you down. I scooped you up in my arms and carried you to your bed. I pulled of your shoes, socks and tie and unbuttoned your shirt. You kicked off your trousers and shrugged out of your shirt and I folded them neatly on a chair as you burrowed into a nest of pillows and blankets. You didn't hold me like you usually do. 

"Taire, I love you. I have loved you for three years, I love you now and I will love you for many years to come. I can't imagine a future without you. I don't want to imagine a future without you. I don't want to ever be without you, Taire. Tell me to go and I will, if that is what you really want. I won't be here if you don't want me. But it has to be what you want, and not what people have made you think, or what my father has told you to do. I will always love you. I want to be with you. Don't tell me you don't deserve me, because you do. You deserve every good thing on this earth. Life has treated you badly, people have treated you badly and now even you treat yourself badly. Life has conditioned you to think you don't deserve me. You do. You're not worthless or useless and you're certainly not a waste of my time. You're the most beautiful man I've ever met, the most incredible painter I've ever seen and I love watching you paint because you pull the most adorable faces when you concentrate. Your hair is wild and your voice is rough but your kisses are soft and sweet. Your eyes are perhaps the most stunning things I've ever looked at-"

"That's because you've never looked at yourself. You're always so beautiful." You interrupted, shifting closer to me. 

"Shhh... I'm trying to make you feel better. I love you more than anything else in the universe. Do you understand that? You are the most important thing in the universe to me. I don't want to lose you. You deserve me. You deserve to be with me. You are worth every second I spend with you. There's not a moment I regret since the moment that I confessed my feelings to you. I love you! Grantaire. If you truly want me to leave, I will. Do you want me to go?"

"No." You choked out between yet more sobs. "Please don't leave me, Enjolras. Please."  
"I won't. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere. I love you."  
"I love you too." You mumbled as you wound your arms around my middle and snuggled into my chest.

"I'm good enough, aren't I?" I heard you whisper as you drifted into unconsciousness.  
"Yes, Grantaire, you are. I love you."


End file.
